Today I started the day in housework mode. I used to be able to clean the entire house in about 3 hours. After I finished down stairs I was beat. I got Muhammad down for a nap and I learned when he was a baby....take a nap too. I did for 2 hours. When we woke, it was raining. Usually this does not bother me but today it made me sad. Plus Tariq was out studying and would not be back until the evening. I felt even sadder and lonely. Earlier, I had decided to pull out of an event my meetup group was coordinating for the Islamophobia conference. It is a completely uncharacteristic decision, usually I can pull events out but given these issues with the pregnancy and being the busiest ever at work, I just don't have the physical or mental capacity. It's hard to disappoint people but in my experience it's better to be honest and realistic than to have an event fail. This I know as a project manager.
Today I am fighting back the sadness and blues. I keep thinking about this little guy inside and whether he is alright. I try to imagine who he will be...it's foggy. I pray he will be like his brother. Muhammad will have a lot of responsibility for his little brother. I worry about him and the pressure that will place on him as they both get older as well as Tariq and I. You usually plan for your children to marry and live on their own. Inshallah he will be able to do those things too. We will have to plan our old age differently and make sure our son is taken care of.
Later
Tiffany
No comments:
Post a Comment